How to Improve One’s Self-Esteem

Improve One's Self-Esteem
Improve One's Self-Esteem

Building Self-Confidence

Self-confidence does not come naturally to everyone. The good news is that it is possible to gain self-confidence. Here’s what to do.


People like friendly people – and nothing says someone is approachable like a smile. Plus, it’s been shown that smiling on the outside will improve a person’s mood. The combination of feeling better and getting nods and smiles from other people is a great confidence booster.

Maintaining good posture.

Standing tall improves a person’s looks and shows the person feels secure and confident. Bad posture, on the other hand, can zap a person’s energy and stress their back and shoulders. For many people, just being aware of how they sit, stand, and walk can be enough to improve their posture. Other people can benefit from “core” body exercises like yoga or Pilates. Still others might merit a trip to the chiropractor. However a person gets their posture, standing tall is a simple thing that goes a long way to showing self-confidence.

Making eye contact.

People who feel painfully shy often avoid looking at others. Unfortunately, the message they often end up giving is “Leave me alone!” Meeting someone’s gaze – whether it is a cute stranger or a job interviewer – lets them know that a person is approachable and confident. People used to averting their eyes can find it difficult to look at others, but this will improve with time. Shy people can practise holding a stare for two seconds, then longer until they work up to five seconds.

Preparing for events.

Some things are stressful enough without people sabotaging themselves. But insecure people sometimes avoid preparing for things that make them feel uncomfortable… which only increases their anxiety and decreases their performance… which makes them feel that they were right in thinking they are no good at whatever it is. The best way to stop this cycle and feel confident about giving a speech or going for an interview or dancing in public or what have you is by knowing what to expect and what to do.

Being bold.

Whether it’s giving a speech or dancing in public, sometimes people have to put themselves out there and do something that doesn’t come naturally or that doesn’t make them feel comfortable. Most things only get easier with experience. People need to push through their fears to see that they are mostly unfounded. It’ll get a little easier each time until it’s no longer necessary to fake the self confidence …it’s really there.

Giving oneself some slack.

Nobody’s perfect, but people tend to obsess about what they don’t like about themselves. People who do this don’t give others much of a chance to notice all the things about them that are great. When self-defeating thoughts start, people need to take a deep breath and move on. Almost everyone feels insecure sometimes, but self-confident people don’t let those doubts control them.

Knowing when to say no.

People who lack self-confidence sometimes let themselves be used by others. Perhaps they are pleased that others notice their existence, or they don’t want to disappoint. Whatever the reason, it is important not to let oneself be used. It lowers one’s confidence and can even put a person in a dangerous situation. People who don’t give someone the time of day unless you are doing something for them are not worth the effort. Being able to say no shows a person cares about themself and can be a great boost to self-confidence.

Taking care of oneself.

People often fail to notice how their emotions and their physical well-being interact. When people don’t get enough sleep, don’t provide the proper fuel for their body, and don’t move their bodies, it is hard for them to feel good about themselves. Taking care of one’s body will lift a person’s mood, boost their energy level, and improve their looks… making it that much easier to feel self-confident.



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